with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize