i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
