dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
