Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
