escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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