either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
this beer tastes like vomit already
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
