I faked an abortion last night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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