Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
