my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
