Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
