You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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