just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
