David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
