is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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