so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
