fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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