Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
