glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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