All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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