For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize