Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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