Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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