I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Two words: nipple clamps
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