No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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