So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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