I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
