when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
