i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it glows. i had to have it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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