He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
