you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
