I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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