I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
