Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
