ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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