Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
