16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
