Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
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Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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