sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
