Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
