Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
