But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
