You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
