Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
