got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This is my gift to your gina
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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