It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
