Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42†tv lol
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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