im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
