she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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