id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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