i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
