his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
