Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
