Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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