I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
