Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
