good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
