dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
